Can We Count On Your Support?
"Good evening, Mr. Nevermore. I'm calling on behalf of the Democratic National Committee, and we want to make sure that John Kerry can count on your vote."
"I see. Why should I vote for him?"
"John Kerry supports the core beliefs of the American people, like improved environmental standards and healthcare."
"Great! Me too. What about gun control, abortion, and the war?"
"Let me assure you, Mr. Nevermore, that John Kerry is in favor of gun control and a woman's right to choose. And of course, you've heard his positions on the war in Iraq."
"Hmmm. I'm against gun control because it only puts the guns in the hands of the criminals, and I'm Pro Life because nobody on the planet has ever been able to explain how the fetus is not a human. And while I'm against the war in Iraq, I support the President's ability to make that call."
Pause.
"But haven't you voted Democrat in national elections before?"
"Sure, absolutely!"
"Then can we count on your vote in November?"
Sigh. Such is the life of an undecided voter in the most imporant district of the most important swing state in the country. Neither candidate has found the sweet spot on the issues.
"I see. Why should I vote for him?"
"John Kerry supports the core beliefs of the American people, like improved environmental standards and healthcare."
"Great! Me too. What about gun control, abortion, and the war?"
"Let me assure you, Mr. Nevermore, that John Kerry is in favor of gun control and a woman's right to choose. And of course, you've heard his positions on the war in Iraq."
"Hmmm. I'm against gun control because it only puts the guns in the hands of the criminals, and I'm Pro Life because nobody on the planet has ever been able to explain how the fetus is not a human. And while I'm against the war in Iraq, I support the President's ability to make that call."
Pause.
"But haven't you voted Democrat in national elections before?"
"Sure, absolutely!"
"Then can we count on your vote in November?"
Sigh. Such is the life of an undecided voter in the most imporant district of the most important swing state in the country. Neither candidate has found the sweet spot on the issues.
posted by Nevermore at
7:44 PM
3 Comments:
Then you are blind that this flip flopper will do a great job as president. He will say what you want to hear to get the job.
By
Anonymous, at 8:02 PM
Then you are blind that this flip flopper will do a great job as president. He will say what you want to hear to get the job.
By
Anonymous, at 8:04 PM
Ahhh, yes. There is no surer way to secure my vote then with a thoughtful insult.
Relax. Kerry has a long way to go to earn my undecided vote.
By
Nevermore, at 9:06 PM
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