Terror Alert 'Orange': John Kerry's New Tan

Although I still haven't made up my mind in this election, if John Kerry's new spray-on tan is as orange as is rumored then he may be making my choice easier. But let's face it, neither of these two candidates is likely to invoke the breathless swooning that Bill Clinton did, so we're going to have to stick to the issues. If any issues are actually discussed.

Why is it so politically difficult for a candidate -- any candidate -- to propose an actual plan for healthcare or the environment? It's difficult to say you are the "environmental president" when you are doing little to nothing for the environment. The first candidate to propose mandatory reductions in emissions and improvements to our national parks will likely get my vote -- even if he has the skin-tone of an oompah-woomah.